


Hangover

by butterflywingss



Category: Aubrey Plaza/ Alison Brie, Happiest Season (2020), Happiest Season AU - Fandom, Riley Bennett/Sloane Caldwell - Fandom, Riley Johnson/ Sloane Caldwell, The One That Got Away - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Non-Canon Relationship, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29052627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflywingss/pseuds/butterflywingss
Summary: I live with the theory that: As much as we are made of moments, our lives are made of losses too.Have you ever tried losing someone before realizing that it was love? How about realizing that they could have been the one only after they were gone? How yours would have made one of the best stories ever told only if you were more ready, less scared, and more accepting of who you really are. Have you tried realizing all these only to know further that there’s nothing you can do to undo the loss and to buy you another chance? To see them, to laugh with them, to talk the way you once did, to say you’re sorry? Not one chance.Like a hangover, there is no cure for this loss and longing.Join Sloane in this coming of age story of life and loss. Of love and chances. And perhaps, of acceptance and life. Join her as she gives herself the ultimate gift we could ever give ourselves: the chance to love and to be. Unapologetically, at that.
Relationships: Sloane Caldwell/Riley Johnson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an alternate-universe story about Riley and Sloane. Truth be told, this story departs from that of Happiest Season in terms of most things except their names, looks, and personality. Some of the characters background from the film will also be incorporated. At best, this story is inspired of Riley (played by Aubrey Plaza) and Sloane (played by Alison Brie) and what might it be to run after the one who has gotten a way- ten years away or a lifetime ago that meetup and loss may be.

**Chapter 1 - What Is**

I live with the theory that: As much as we are made of moments, our lives are made of losses too. Losses we could have done something more but chose to settle for none. Losses we all are too happy to let go of. Losses that do not sting anymore unless visited. Losses from loved ones, families, places we have or never have been to, from what could bes. 

Have you ever tried losing someone before realizing that it was love? Of course, you knew it was something special. It was a skin-deep, soul-filled, and rare connection. You could talk to each other about sunsets, sunrises, the wind, the moon- concepts that seem so airy or inconsequential for many- and yet you feel so grounded. The entire journey with them- from the moment you said your first words to their first reply- felt like a story of remembering and not knowing. It was as if they have been there all of your life and now that they have risen to meet you, your life has become fuller with all the technicolor and shades that you have never had the fortune to sink so deeply into but you knew, you were so capable of having and living with. The connection was so powerful but so peaceful, so easy. So naturally, with all the less you have been settling with or struggle you have launched yourself to, you never realized it for what it was: love. It was almost as if you have found your soulmate, insofar as novels and poets write about them.

And then, have you ever tried realizing that they could have been **the one** only after they were gone? That huge pang, followed by an overwhelming emptiness- as if your blood has been drained of from you from head to toe- when you realize that you have lost them like sand on your fingers and now you stand in a desert and there’s no making sense on which part of this vast body of sand you should start to find them or reach them?

Have you ever tried being consumed with the realization that yours would have made one of the best stories ever told if only you were more ready, less scared, and more accepting of who you really are? Have you tried realizing all these only to know further that there’s nothing you can do to undo the loss and to buy your love another chance? To see them, to laugh with them, to talk to them the way you once did, to say you’re sorry? Not one chance.

Like a hangover, there is no cure for this loss and longing. You are left with an ache that is so overwhelming and all-consuming; only this time, it is over a deep regret that you have missed your chance to love someone with all that you have. Like a hangover, we get to learn to live with it. To power through our days, to continue. But do we really? Continue?

Or do we delude ourselves into believing that since there really is nothing we can do and thus, it is simply best that we continue? More so, do we delude ourselves to believing that we are fine as if we will not drop everything we have just for another chance to be with them if we only can?

"Riley?", I bit my lip, realizing how foolish it must have been for me to call on a total stranger in this totally foreign place all because I am still in a hangover over an encounter that happened 10 years ago.

How is it that I, Sloane, am so convinced that fate would be magically playing its hands for me now and would let me meet the person I have (truth be told) sought here in Porto, making it an instant travel choice in my uncharacteristic and ever once-in-a-blue moon work leave. How is it that I could ever trust fate to favor me this time when it never had?

What did the miles matter, or the hundred thousands of dollars that this trip cost me? What did it matter if I have not at all checked any tourist spot in this area? Or any interesting activity to do? Or even a place to stay in? What did it matter if I haven't even talked to that woman in question for ten years or even heard anything about her on that same time frame for that matter? For all I know, she's in a completely different place now, perhaps in the most opposite place on earth from this charming city in Portugal which I literally just jumped on. What did it matter really? I just knew I had to be here and idiotic and insane it may be, I do not want to miss this chance again. So, yes. Here I am at the middle of a cafe in a foreign city calling out strangers and hoping that the diabolical fate finally has its mercy on me.

The woman in question did not look up. Well, obviously, her name could very well not be Riley. Should I go near her? Fairly introverted, this is not a psycho thing that I usually do or ever have done for that matter.

But I am not the Sloane who loses people and chances. I am the Sloane who jumped into a plane, flew thousands of miles from my country, two hours after announcements that my cases have been moved to a further date because the judge hearing them had fallen ill and was then forced into a mandatory leave.

I am the Sloane who is taking chances. I know I have well missed my chance but I'm still here. So yes, I am approaching the woman in question. Creepy and susceptible of a restraining order that may be.


	2. Who Is

“I’m not dating.”,she looked at me straight and told me before I could even cross the inch that separated us.

“Ah, this is.. I am...” I merely stuttered. Gosh! Great! This stranger now thinks I’m a stalker. 

“Relax”, she smiled and laughed. Her cheeks covered with a soft pink. Her eyes danced merrily, presumably at my reaction or relief. 

“Ha, you got me there.” I laughed awkwardly.

“Well, what is it? I’m pretty sure you didn’t come here just to say “hi”. Posso te ajudar?” she said. 

“What was that? Sorry, it’s only been hours since I got here.” I said.

“That’s may I help you in Portuguese. So, may I help you?”, she replied, clearly enjoying my torment but in a good-natured kind of way.

“Ah, yeah. Do you mind if I sit down?”, I asked.

She motioned her hand to the empty cafe chair in front of her. She had deep brown eyes- round, daring, and intelligent. Her hair parts on the right and is past her shoulder blades. It was the perfect mixture of dark brown and black. Maybe, they were highlights but the brown and black jived so effortlessly that it didn’t look like like either of them was just a highlight of the other. She had broad shoulders, quite distinct underneath the black, bodycon turtleneck she was wearing. She was slender, fit, and kind. 

“I’m Sloane and I just got here a few hours ago. I’m really sorry, I thought you were somebody I know.”, I replied.

“Oh, cool.”, she said. “How did you come by Porto, Sloane?”

“I’m actually looking for someone and she lives here.” I said, making it short. If she had any doubts of me being a stalker, it seems best to not confirm it now. 

“So is that person you’re looking for meeting you in this cafe?”, she asked.

“Ah, no.”, I replied as casually as I could, hoping she would not ask any further.

“Is she going to meet you elsewhere? I could point you to the direction if you’re not quite certain of it.”, she offered.

“Uhm, no, she isn’t.” I looked at her straight in those dark brown eyes. I’m not a stalker and I have got nothing to hide. I’m not a creep. A hopeless romantic, yes. But a creep, no. Ugh, I cannot believe I am referring to myself as a hopeless romantic. Ah, passionate. Right, that may be the better word.

“Is she ever going to meet you?”, she laughed. 

I grimaced. She probably meant it to be a joke but nothing could ever be more real. I know the chances of finding people under this circumstance and I know fairly well how slim they are. Maybe that takes some points off from my being a hopeless romantic. Hopeless romantics are supposed to be hopeful at the face of their impossible conquest of love, right? Or maybe I am a cynical hopeless romantic.

“I don’t know.”, I said. 

“Does she even know you’re here?”, she asked. Okay, this woman doesn’t stop. 

“Sadly, no.”, I replied. There’s no point of lying and frankly, why would I? 

“So what’s your plan?”, she asked. At this point, I am thoroughly amazed by how normally she was taking me. It’s as if it’s her daily to find a stray looking for an untraceable North. 

“Well, I only have her name with me. So...” I replied.

“What? Not even an address?”

“Well, I know she’s from Porto. So, there’s that.” I shrugged.

“So? Do you plan to knock in every door in this city to look for her?”, she  
looked half-amazed. 

“Something like that.” I laughed.

“I guess everybody can be indulgent for love.”, she rolled her eyes and laughed. She began standing up and walking away.

Phew. That could have gone so much worse. Thank the heavens, she was cool and actually funny and might even be my friend if only we had more time. Could fate now be rewarding my possibly psychotic initiatives? I grinned to myself until- 

“Hey, what are you still grinning yourself with there?” The beautiful brown-eyed stranger who took my insane mission so nonchalantly was now by the cafe’s door as she semi-shouted and asked me the question. “Come on.”, she waved her hand together again with that magnetic joyful smile of hers. That same one that painted her face when she realized she scared the heck out of me.

I rushed to her with my luggage and said, “Well, where are we going?.” 

She pushed the cafe’s door and I followed her.

“We?”, she said.

“Yeah.” I nodded, now possibly a bit thrilled and confused.

“You are going with me.”, she said.

“What? I don’t even know you!” I smiled at her challengingly.

“Ha. So I’m now the one stalking you.” 

We laughed. This woman is so easy to be with.

“I’m Nes and I might just be your lifesaver. Nice to meet you too.”, she said offering her hand.

I grinned at her and held her stretched out hand. And for the first time, the charming city of Porto was less strange and more joyful and promising. 

“So, Nes, assuming that truly is your name, where are you taking me?” I told her after walking (or truth be told, being semi-dragged) some streets away from the cafe.

She laughed. “Oh, how could you doubt your only possible lifesaver in this quest of yours. You wound me.”

I laughed. It was so easy to be with her. Obviously, this goes against every single belief and training I have had as a lawyer. My colleagues would perhaps even call me insane if I were to ever share this story with them. It seems the easiest way to be robbed and mauled in a foreign city. But the heart indeed has reasons of its own which reason does not know. Yielding to this only general and universal pull couldn’t be a bad thing. Besides, I am the risk taking Sloane today.

“What! How is it that you think I’m on a quest?” I replied to her.

“Everybody is and we all are. Some travel for love, for money, for information, for freedom... I could go on. So, which one are you? Which one is she for you?”, she said.

I smiled. She was right, of course, but there’s no need to be dramatic this early; lest I scare her of. I seem to be the type so overwhelming for many. But truth be told, I knew this stranger would understand. Idiotic, assuming, and illogical that may be. But still, it’s best to keep it for me for now. 

“So, where are you taking me?” I asked again.

“Are you to ask me questions the whole night? She asked. Are you a lawyer?”, she continued with a laugh.

“Yeah.” I laughed, “How did you know?”

“You just remind me of someone.” That’s all she answered.

“Well, she better be good ‘cause I am!” I said jokingly which is why I was surprised I received no banter in return. 

Nes just remained quiet. She let my hand go, not obviously. She slipped it silently and covertly but I was always good on feeling people. Maybe it came with being a lawyer or being an INFP but I usually was. She didn’t seem to be disheartened or mad. She just looked sad and wistful. In deep thought as she walked some few steps in front of me. Her face now not anymore fully within my view but I know that look all too well. I knew that at that point, she was perhaps deeply remembering something. How far along? I do not know. What I know is that in her reveries was a very important and dear memory. And suspicious of my safety or not, I just knew everybody should be afforded the privacy to do just that. 

“Here we are!”, she declared with another of those magnetic smiles of her. The previously intense and serious look on her face disappeared and faded as if it were from many years ago. She is truly one of those people with that magnetic smile that really brings you into the moment. She smiles and it seems nothing else matters and all is very, very well. She fished for her keys in front of the gate of her spacious home. There was a huge lawn with a few trees and at the center of them all was a wooden-looking house. The resemblance of this home to my house was uncanny. I swear I could already feel at home even when a gate and several meters still separated me from its front door. Wow, could fate truly be supporting me now?

“Nice house.”, I said as we walked into the front door.

“Thanks! I moved in here a few years ago. Hurry up, so we can get you settled.”

The front door opened into a very spacious and cozy living room. From the inside, the house’s walls were all made of glass. I could see well-trimmed lawn and a few more trees with some hammocks on them. These were all covered by the trees that were on both sides of the house so that if you were outside, all you could see were trees and you wouldn’t even wonder if there was something behind them. 

Nes directs me to my room. It had hunter green walls which happened to be my favorite colors. The floors were wooden and polished. At the center of it was a huge bed with a trunk on its end and a carpet beneath it. It has a fireplace, a huge cabinet, tables, and cozy chairs, all perfectly-placed in their own rightful spots. 

“Did you design this room?”, I asked Nes.

She nodded. “This used to be my room.”, she said sadly although I don’t know why. “I’m afraid it doesn’t have a separate comfort room. You could use the one down the hall. Although, I’m currently using it too. The electrician hasn’t visited me yet and my hot shower seems to be jammed.” She continued.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about me, Nes. Thank you so much.” I mean, who am I to complain and what is there to complain about? Without her, I would have probably been out, cold, and confused without a roof over my head because I was so love-crazed to think about the logistics of my escape. “I don’t know how I could even thank you.”, I added,

“I’ll have any of the guest rooms arranged for you. So you can transfer there tomorrow. Just take a look at them whenever you want and then tell me which one you prefer.” She replied.

“No, that’s fine.” I can’t take more or cause more trouble to her. “I’m going to find myself a good hotel tomorrow, so I can be out your hair at no time. Again, thank you so much for your generosity.” 

“Really, Sloane, it’s fine. I live here alone and for most of the time, I will be out of the house. Besides, I’d like to see how this mission of yours end.”, she replied.

“Why?”, I answered. Back home, I am a terribly private person and I’m just mesmerized with how open this woman standing in front of me is. Sure, I would never turn a stranger away but I would very much book her in a comfortable hotel and even pay for her stay instead of letting her stay with me for a period of time I didn’t even ask for or know. 

“I guess we’re all suckers for love.”, she shrugged and matched it with that magnetic smile of hers. 

Again, I can feel nothing else but hope.


	3. What Could Be

I woke up to the rays of the sun kissing my eyes. I don’t bother opening them immediately. Instead, I laid in the warmth, letting it linger and sip into my skin. It’s been a long time since I have had the luxury of feeling this.

While I am not a workaholic, justice didn’t discriminate on the hours the day. In fact, crimes choose to exist the later the evening gets or in the wee hours of the morning. It’s been a long time since I have fallen into a deep sleep out of knowing that there will be no calls missed should I decide to do so. I might be a heart in love, but I am a body tired too.

After a few minutes of silence, I decided to get up and wrap my robes around me. I checked my phone and realized it was past nine in the morning. Foolishly, I checked my phone and found still no reply from Riley. I didn’t expect her to. She had stopped replying to me more than ten years ago. What on earth could motivate her to do differently now? I guess not even a message of me going to Portugal is worth any reply. Not a “k”, not a thumb up, nothing. All that message, like all my other messages, received was a seen.

I walked to the door before I could fall into the debilitating misery again. I have to be heart strong; this is what I went to Portugal for. Besides, Nes could have already left and maybe, I could take a stroll on her porch. It was so promising last night, I can only just imagine how beautiful it must be in this soft daylight.

I walked out of my door and into the hall that led to the kitchen. The kitchen was empty. Nes must have already left, I thought as I sipped into a glass of water. I walked further and went to Nes’ porch.

The porch looked so different from last night. Last night, it looked like an endless field- so vast, so deserted, enough to make you get lost in it. But today, it was different. Yes, it was still vast but it was humble too. Comforting, enough, familiar. There was a lap pool situated a few feet away from the glass window I was standing on. A huge tree faced the pool, and there were lines and lines of potted plants separating the tree from the grass that led to the other side of the pool. There were also white steel chairs and tables in one side of the pool. In the other side was a comfortable nook- one perfect for reading, thinking, anything- with softly-cushioned wooden chairs. I got lost surveying my eyes over that small area until-

“You’re awake.”, she said.

It was only then that I realized that I was actually looking straight at Nes in her beautiful sheer white dress. Like her porch, Nes looked so beautiful in the morning. Ethereal even. The sheer white dress made her fair skin glow and her hair this wonderful golden brown. So naturally, when I realized that I was gawking at her like a bird, my treacherous cheeks could only answer with a blush.

“Tea?”, she said.

“Thanks.”, I said approaching her, now able to gain my composure.

“Have some bread and milk biscuits too. I baked them fresh from the oven.”

“Wow. These are good. If you had opened a bakery, I will for sure be your most loyal customer.”, I laughed appreciatively.

“You already were, just not the most loyal.”, she replied.

“What? Was that cafe yours?”, I replied.

She nodded again with that magnetic smile of hers. Erase magnetic, her smile is musical in the morning.

“So, Sloane, what are you up to today?”, she asked.

“I honestly don’t know. I was going to figure out where to start but I completely have no idea where to without becoming a stalker.”, I said.

“Well, good. Because today, I need your services.”, she replied.

“Ah, sure.”, I replied. I wonder what on earth she could need me for. Although I am a fairly competent lawyer back at home, Portuguese laws were different and I don’t see what I could be any use for. “What do you need me for?”, I replied.

“I am going to a wedding and you are going to be my date.”, she declared.

“What?!”, I looked at her astounded. “You should know I’m awkward and find it hard to warm up to people.”, I replied.

“Come on, Sloane. Say yes? Don’t worry, you can choose to be glued to my side the whole time, if you want to.”, she said.

“Fine, fine, fine. But of course, you can leave me and have fun. I don’t mind being on the sides.”, I replied.

“Dates don’t leave dates.”, she said.

At around three in the afternoon, I found myself in a maroon silk gown. Nes had said that the wedding’s motifs were red, silver, and blue. Thank the heavens that a gown was one of the things I ransacked from my closet, without thought or even a second glance. I am, after all, a hopeless romantic who believes that she will meet people on the most random events. It’s best that one is ready.

“You look nice.”, came Nes’ voice as she looked at me from head to toe. She walked to me and tugged my now curled hair so that my big curls cascaded so effortlessly under my shoulder. She smelled like sweet vanilla, my favorite scent. She held my hand and placed a thin gold bangle with a tiny butterfly lock.

“I thought it matched your necklace”, she added.

“Thank you, Nes.”, this woman is just so thoughtful. She would have easily been one of my closest friends back home. “So, where are we going?”, I asked her.

“To my friend’s place. They own this small church. Really, it can’t be a chapel because it’s quite big. That’s where she will marry her best friend.”, she replied.

“Great, I love weddings.”, I said.

“Me too.”, she replied.

We walked to her garage and to her car. Nes drives a black Range Rover Sport. Again, it reminds me of another coincidence since I drive the same one back home.

Full disclosure: I am not the most fun person to drive with in the world. I easily get motion sickness and this is why I prefer driving myself. It’s highly improbable to get dizzy on your own tempo. And this is why I hate falling in love: at one glance, or one interaction, your tempo is all screwed and the next thing you know you’re in a nasty bar’s sink throwing up while cursing Cupid for his bow.Thankfully though, Nes is such an excellent driver so I didn’t have to fear looking like a green squash as soon as we arrived in the venue.

In the afternoon glow, Portugal is so beautiful. Nes said that we were going to Santa Maria de Feira which was just close to an hour away. But as a nearby municipality, Santa Maria has its own vibe which is different from Porto. Yes, it was lively too but there was something quiet about it too. With the pinks and golds in the skies, I couldn’t help but feel that it was here that I was meant to be at. Call it intuition, call it a sign but I was meant to come here. It felt like home.

“We’re here!”, Nes announced after we entered a huge compound and stopped at the middle of a Victorian house. “The church is that way.”, she pointed to the right.

“Let’s go?”, she offered her hand and I took it. Wow, it’s been so long since I have held someone this way and I don’t even remember how wonderful it is to hold and be held. While going to a wedding at that. In this beautiful place too. Really. The entire compound looks like an enchanted forest and the center of it, which is where we are walking at, makes you feel like you are walking at a huge garden. The smell of the flowers, the wind- they were all so fresh and free. We kept walking on the sprawling garden until we were only a few steps away from the church. And yes, Nes was not exaggerating for this could be as big as the church I grew up in.

“Anastasia!”, somebody called from the church.

I was a bit shocked when Nes waved beside me until it dawned on me that Nes was actually an Anastasia.

“And who is this?”,her blue-eyed friend asked.

“This is Sloane. She’s a friend.”, she replied. “Sloane, this is Clara.”, she further introduced.

Clara looked at me with such bright eyes as if I was some lottery jackpot. Obviously, this was met again by my treacherous blush. Seriously, the court room is the only place where I never melt through a blush.

“She’s just a friend, Clara.”, Nes offered, obviously sensing how awkward I felt.

“Well, you can’t blame me, Ana. It’s been years since you brought anyone with you.”, she replied.

_Hmmm, years, huh?,_ I thought. / _And okay, she’s an Ana. I wonder what else I will know about this generous stranger today._

“Sloane, would you mind sitting there?”, she pointed to the pew on the right, five pews away from the altar. “I’m a bridesmaid. But I swear, I’ll sit beside you after the processional.”, she added.

“Oooh. Swear.”, comments Clara.

“Sure, no problem. And no, don’t think about me. I’ll see you after the ceremony. You’re a bridesmaid and you must sit with the rest of the entourage.”, I told her as I fixed her pearl necklace. If it were my mother who was the mother of the bride, she would probably stare me down with those eyes of hers for messing up the seating plan. I can only imagine what the parents of this bride would feel if they saw Nes sitting away from the rest of the entourage “I’ll be fine over there.”, I added.

“Sweet and lovely too.”, Clara comments and nods approvingly from me to Nes.

“Right, I’ve got to go. You break a leg or something.”, I dropped Nes’ hand and marched away from them, without waiting for her answer. I had to do this because I swear I could have sensed Clara hearing wedding bells and that just can’t be right. My thoughts were suddenly flooded with anxious feelings of being possibly introduced to the entire bridal party. I walked as fast as I could to my pew; stomped one foot then the other. Finesse, be damned. I was a complete stranger in a wedding and my introverted self was churning inside. I sat, butt almost falling harshly to the pew, before I realized that there might be some sort of seating arrangement. I was just a few five pews away from the altar, after all. Back at home, this would have been reserved for the couple’s friends. Seeing as I am not, I realized I really must ask.

I turned to my seatmate who was in red. Great, I won’t stand out, in case the arrangement is by colors. I marvel with just how crazy my thoughts have become. Really? Arrangement by colors? I chuckled to myself until I turned to my seatmate and my breath was completely taken away. My stomach did flips.

Beside me was Riley. The very woman I sought for here in Portugal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think Ana. As in Anastasia Steele :)


End file.
